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If you are becoming a parent soon or wondering if you are raising your kids with the right attitude, then this read will be exceptionally beneficial for you. Here you will get to know the different parenting styles and their impact on kids, in the present and in the future as well. It will definitely let you understand your personality, and how can you make your relationship with the kid more beautiful and beneficial for the kid. Let's dig into it!
? Types of Parenting As Explained by Psychologists
Different parenting styles and their impact on kids is different in many ways. Before discussing parenting styles, it is important to know on what basis researchers have differentiated these styles. Psychologists have analyzed and devised four different types of parenting styles that are categorized on the basis of,
? Demanding Behaviour and
? Responsiveness
The extent of demanding some acts to be done, or things to be said, and the response time, style, and pattern vary in different parenting styles. And these two dimensions determine the relationship style between a parent with his/ her kids.
• Demanding behaviour from the parents means a parent's eagerness and extent of controlling behaviour towards his/ her kids. The way parents demand behavioural maturity, and control on the emotions or acts from children comes refers to their demanding behaviour.
• The responsiveness from the parents part means the extent and promptness with which parents respond to their children's emotional variations and developmental changes in their personality, both physically and mentally.
According to these characteristics, researchers have deduced following four types of parenting styles.
1. Authoritarian Parenting
2. Permissive Parenting
3. Authoritative Parenting
4. Uninvolved Parenting
Each of these parenting styles varies in many ways, follows a distinctive approach to raise kids, and have various different characteristics. Let's discuss these different parenting styles and their impact on kids personality, and behaviour in the long run.
1. Authoritarian Parenting
• Highly Demanding parents with extremely low responsiveness
Let's analyze yourself first! What kind of parents you are? If you think that children must always be taken care of, have no individualistic or independent opinions, and you find it difficult to accept new ideas from your kids then most probably you fall in the category of authoritarian parents.
For authoritarian parents, it always "my way or highway" approach keeps on implementing. These parents firmly believe that there must be specific house rules that should be followed by kids as is, without asking questions.
Authoritarian parents are used to saying "because I'm saying so", every time the kid tries to negotiate or slightly negate any point of view or order. Moreover, authoritarian parents are far away from negotiating or discussing anything. They just want blind and silent obedience from the kids. Some of these parents' highlighting characteristics include not listening to the kids at all, strict behavior all the time, not helping in solving issues, and constant reinforcement of orders.
• Affect of this Parenting Style on Children:
With terribly strict and dreadfully ordering behavior of authoritarian parents, kids start to forget about being disciplined for the sake of discipline, but to avoid punishments. This sort of upbringing does not incorporate decision making and situation analyzing skills in the kids rather they tend to keep thinking about the extent and intensity of their mistakes.
These kids are at an extremely high risk of developing self-esteem issues and lack of confidence. Because no one had ever given importance to their opinion, so they start feeling that their opinions or words have no worth at all.
In other cases, these kids may become exceedingly aggressive, and angry. Rather than trying to make anyone happy or content which is difficult to do, they start doing things the way they want without caring what the parents will think, or how much angry they will be this time.
As the authoritarian parents tend to make their kids obedient all their childhood, so these kids became good liar as well, thus to avoid obvious punishment from their parents.
2. Permissive Parenting
• Extremely Lenient Demanding behavior and very high responsiveness of parents
Permissive parenting style is the most lenient one of all. If you are someone who does make house rules for kids but does not enforce them sternly or does not tell about the consequences of the mistakes, or most importantly, you believe that your child will learn more and better without your interference, then your parenting style is definitely permissive one.
Permissive parents are of mainly forgiving and forgetting nature, and only get strict in serious situations. These parents are very soft-hearted towards kids, and give them whatever they want and whenever they want. The main thing they think is that "kids will be kids", it's their right to be this way.
Permissive parents are more friends than the usual parent. They encourage barrier-free conversations with their kids about their life and daily issues but find it difficult (or impossible) to let the kids differentiate between bad decisions and good choices. They often think to let the kids figure out with their experience, and their role as a parent is to just stick to their back.
• Affect of this Parenting Style on Children:
Though a friendly relationship is quite appreciative and positive for the psychological growth of kids, kids brought up under the permissive parenting style often suffer in their academic career. As there is no fear of consequences, these kids often tend to develop bad habits, and neglect boundaries, rules and regulations, and feel themselves as the full authority.
Apart from developing flaws in their personality, these parents are most likely to suffer from major health issues, such as obesity, dental cavities, stomach problems, etc. As growing up without any restrictions, or negations of any kind, these kids ate whatever and whenever so, there can be a free intake of junk food, especially at parties or late at night, and both of these things invite terrible health problems.
3. Authoritative Parenting
• Exceedingly responsive parents providing everything possible, and Highly demanding for good results in every way
Among different parenting styles and their impact on kids, the authoritative parenting style seems to keep the balance of giving children everything in hand and also expecting perfection that a kid is capable of providing.
Authoritative parents tend to create a balanced, friendly and positive relationship with their kids. These parents surely make house rules, but do not enforce them on the kids blindly, rather discuss all the reasons behind these regulations. And while telling about the consequences, these parents also try to take the feelings of kids into consideration. Overall, authoritative parents put great effort into keeping a blooming, healthy, and caring relationship with their kids, thus appreciate the good in the kids and also encourage them to be good to others.
Authoritative parenting style is an exceptional balance of strictness and friendliness, both of which are excruciatingly important for the kids. authoritative parents give a lot of time to their kids, put energy and mind into kids' stuff and everyday situations, and try to be there whenever their kids need them.
These parents are exceptionally considerate about the feelings of children, no matter what age they are. But at the same time, they make sure to let the kids know who is in charge. Authoritative parents are great listeners, and at the same time, they know extremely well how to convince their kids for doing something, following something that is eventually better for their future.
The discipline in such homes is mind-blowing. As the parents put loads of effort, time and energy to create perfect house rules that are acceptable for the parents and the kids, so there is no major clash, argument or issues arise that can't be resolved with discussion.
These parents praise their children a lot, and in some cases, parents create some sort of a reward system to encourage the kids to prosper even more.
Moreover, authoritative parents are very friendly and give easy room to their kids to discuss all kinds of issues with them. They are truly easy going, calm and lenient, but at the same time, are superbly vigilant and intelligent to guide their kids about making the right decisions in life.
• Affect of this Parenting Style on Children:
Kids that brought up with authoritative parenting style have huge self-confidence, self-belief, amazing personality, and are more likely to be successful in their life, no matter which profession they go in.
Psychologically, these kids have awesome decision-making skills. They can superbly evaluate the situation, analyze the circumstances, and thoroughly check the future consequences of any issues.
Moreover, they are considerate to others and are intelligent in any sort of situation.
4. Uninvolved Parenting
• Little to no responsive behaviour and no demands or requirements from kids
Lastly, the 4th type of parenting style is surely the worst type of parenting method which is, uninvolved parenting. And if after reading the characteristics of such parents, you find yourself falling in this category even a little, do consider changing yourself a bit for the good of your child.
If you are someone who does not ask about the day at school, or about the homework your kids get from home, or if you are unaware of the whereabouts of kid, or most importantly you do not spend any time (short or long) with your kid, then you are certainly among the uninvolved parents.
Uninvolved parenting or neglectful parenting is not only harmful to the kids but also a mirror of parents' own psychological miseries. Surely, having a great relationship with your kids is like feeling good about everything you possess in life.
Uninvolved parents are totally unaware of anything remotely related to the personal everyday life of their kids. They have little to no knowledge about their kids' skills, talents, and educational progress.
These parents are not fond of guiding their kids often. They sure have house rules, but do not bother implementing them with consideration of their kids. Children of such parents seem to be growing up by themselves, without any proper guidance of their parents.
Uninvolved parenting seems very neglectful but this is not intentional in every case. For instance, a parent may be itself suffering from some sort of pain, emotional or physical, that made him/ her unavailable to their kids. Or if they are around, they are unable to fully attend their children, no matter how hard they are trying.
In some households, the financial crisis makes thing terrible. Paying monthly bills, and buying foods take all the attention, and parents worry about feeding their children. And in such circumstances, the actual abilities, and emotional life of the kids get neglected.
So, it is hard to pinpoint the main person who is wrong in this situation.
• Affect of this Parenting Style on Children:
Children who are brought up by the uninvolved parents often struggle badly from self-esteem issues. They lack inner confidence, are unable to walk and talk in public, and may be very shy in public speaking.
Additionally, these kids often suffer from educational failures and often get poor performance in exams. This passes on into their professional life as well. These kids often develop behavioral problems and also remain sad and blue most of the time.
Overall, uninvolved parenting style is definitely the worst one among the four.
Most Affective Parenting Style That Will Impart Great Affect on Kids
Authoritative parenting is considered to be the most effective style of parenting. After decades of research, psychologists have studied that the authoritative style of parenting has been proved to be the most productive and efficient way to bring up successful kids. However, it is not the only ingredient of success.
This was an elaborative discussion about different parenting styles and their impact on kids. Hopefully, this will help you understand and bend your own personality to adopt the best possible parenting style for the greater good of your child.
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