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Is there any single trick to have a long-lasting loving relationship? Well, surely, there is no actual scientific guideline of any sort to know the secret of a good relationship or causes of a bad relationship. However, with the help of tons of data analytics on the subject matter of sex, love, and relationship, socialists and relationship counselors have devised some guidelines to know how to build a healthy relationship. For sure, building a good relationship needs time, patience, and care; so one should not expect results overnight. You need to compromise, commit, trust, forgive, and forget. No relationship can strengthen if both partners are not putting in their utmost effort. By saying that, let's skim through this amazingly informative article which will let you know all about love and how to deepen it with time. Let's get started.
Different Styles of Expressing Love
Being in love is an incredible feeling and there is no other feeling like that. Everyone around the globe surely experiences this beautiful feeling at least once in their life. Love is one mutual thing that unites us all. However, sociologists have categorized different styles of love. Keep in mind that these styles may differ from one another, but the intensity of loving someone remains the same in every case. So, what are these styles? The following are six different styles of love as described by a sociologist from a California State University, Terry Hatkoff. According to his point of view, there are following six different styles of love that exist in any close relationship.
1. Playful: The playful style of loving someone is the one in which you feel exhilarated and joyful through flirtation or being playfully challenged by your partner. This reflects a beautiful mixture of close friendship and a trustful and deep relationship. Playful love keeps you connected through trifle fun things. Well, if you know the relationship between "Jim and Pam" from "The Office", then you can certainly understand what playful style of love is.
2. Best Friends: Friendship goes deeper with understanding and communication, which are also important to strengthen any relationship. Those couples who are best friends of each other can definitely relate to the depth and intensity of love a close friendship bring in within a relationship. In this type of love, lovers focus on the deep affection and care they have for each other.
3. Romantic: This style of love is purely based on sexual attraction and passion for being together with your lover. Physical intimacy holds exceptional importance in a relationship. Just an intimate hug or a deep kiss can turn your mood upside down, and if it is given by your lover with all the heart and passion then intensify the relationship to newer depths. If you wish to be around your partner all the time and take pleasure with it then you two are experiencing a romantic style of love.
4. Possessive: Possessive style of love is based on obsession or jealousy over your lover. If you are taken over by this style of love then it would be impossible for you to even imagine your partner talking with someone else in a chill or relaxing manner. However, a little bit of possessiveness is a must-have to let your partner know how much they are important in your life.
5. Logical: Well, people fall in logical love when they meet a person with whom they share financial goals, plans, religious beliefs, or moral values, etc. This love starts on mutual understanding and after going through a thorough thought processing from both parties. And with time, these mutual gains become the foundation for the prevalence of their love and passion for each other.
6. Selfless: Selfless or unselfish style of love nurture on kind-heartedness, sacrifice, and benevolence. These soft gestures introduce to souls with the beautifully fragrant feeling of love, romance, and togetherness. Selfless love shows a soft, endearing, and calm side of love in a most romantic, and charming manner.
There you have it. Surely, there are different styles of love, but the fundamental purity, eagerness, and magic that love holds remain the same in every case. And knowing your strong sides will help you know how to build a healthy relationship with your partner. The style of love you and your lover are experiencing is mainly determined by your personalities. Which style of love do you think, you do with your lover?
Tips and Tricks to Strengthen Your Relationship
Undeniably, a romantic relationship goes through ups and downs; but keep them strong is the willingness to get past these difficult times and stay committed to the good within your partner. Understanding how to build a healthy relationship is not difficult and just requires commitment and care for your partner. Whether you have just started dating someone or you two have been together for several years, you can strengthen your relationship by following some simple tips and tricks.
• Try to Ask Open-ended Questions Now and Then
First and foremost, for a relationship to work out, it is exceptionally important to strive for better communication. As Roy T. Bennett had said, "Sometimes all a person wants is an empathetic ear; all he or she needs is to talk it out. Just offering a listening ear and an understanding heart for his or her suffering can be a big comfort."And this must not only be followed by one partner, rather both partners should put some effort in this regard for things to work out perfectly. In addition to asking simple questions on a daily basis such as "how was your day" or "what you had in lunch", it is important to dig a little deeper.
Our personalities keep on changing with each passing day in response to what we experience around us. You must seek what is inside your partner if anything is bothering them. This thing is especially important for those people who remain silent and never tend to share their feelings with anyone. As Ernest Hemingway had said, "When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen." Having a heart to heart conversation with your partner will let them know that you are always available for them to listen to. However, not every conversation had to be like that.
• Avoid Making Assumptions about What they are Thinking
One of the most disastrously dangerous thing that a partner do to ruin the relationship is assuming another person's thoughts and views about a particular person or a specific matter. As Henry Winkler said, "Assumptions are the termites of relationships". Surely, sometimes you know what would your partner say about a certain thing or how would they feel about anything. But, you cannot always be right. It is highly recommended to listen to their views and let them share their opinion rather than pre-assuming everything on your own. And there are pretty strong chances that your assumptions turn out to be wrong, as Gita Bellin said, "Every issue, belief, attitude or assumption is precisely the issue that stands between you and your relationship to another human being and between you and yourself". When you start believing in your assumption, never encountering them with your partner, this is when you start ruining your relationship each day at a time. Joshua brand has perfectly put this as, "the fall of relationships draws from assumptions, what is not known, and acceptance of what is not seen." On the other hand, both partners must always keep the communication channel open for each other, thus no one would be able to make wrong assumptions about others. Neena Gupta said that that communication is the key and "Don’t hesitate to open up to the ones you love… Don’t let them make assumptions… tell them how you feel… for the words left unspoken often break hearts… and break relationships too". If you want to strengthen your relationship and deepen the love, then try not to make assumptions.
• Be More Sensitive for the Nonverbal Communication
Listen to the unsaid words or unexpressed feelings and tend to mend these. Understand it with this simple example. Imagine you asked your partner "how was your day" and in reply, they say "it was fine" but in a rather irritated, angry, or upset tone, like something is bothering them but they are not sharing it is vital to read between the lines. Communication is not just a dialogue of words. We communicate with each through our gestures, our tones, and our attitude. Shannon L. Adler said, " The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t being said. The art of reading between the lines is a life long quest of the wise." The other person doesn't need to always communicate through words. Understanding and reading nonverbal communication can enhance the element of care, thoughtfulness, and kindheartedness. Brian Tracy said, "Communication is a skill that you can learn. It’s like riding a bicycle or typing. If you’re willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life". It is the simplest way to let the other person know that you are there whenever they need you and they understand what you are going through. People asking for how to build a healthy relationship must ponder on the way their partner is reacting and be more attentive and careful. It will help you built a stronger, better, and beautiful relationship. Stephan Labossiere said, " Let communication be the seed that you water with honesty and love. So that it may produce a happy, fulfilling, and successful relationship." Listening to the said words and understanding the unsaid words are the two basic principles of a healthy relationship.
• Let Your Partner Know Your Needs Clearly
Most couples only share just the good stuff and avoid sharing if something is bothering them, just to keep worries and fears out of their way. Whereas, having a partner can be your best support system. This is the most trustworthy, caring, and intelligent person that can listen to everything you say and also can give you the best advice in any circumstances. At times we just need support and at other times we need some advice. In both cases, looking at your partner for help can be the best thing ever. Be direct in your needs and let them help you. Let them know everything ahead of time, thus both of you can make plans and prevent bigger disasters. Knowing how to build a healthy relationship is important and the key to a healthy relationship is excellent communication skills.
• Sustain a Significant Emotional Connection through Thick and Thin
In a relationship, emotional connection is way more important than a physical connection. Making each other emotionally content, feeling loved, and fulfilled. Feeling loved, cared, and important is the best feeling in the world. It means that someone cares about you, accepts you the way you are, and values your presence in their life. Khaled Hosseini wrote in his book, "It's tremendous what can happen when suddenly you make an emotional connection." Emotional connection occurs softly and silently but suddenly. It does not need years to build up. When you are emotionally connected with someone then you feel loved and let them experience this feeling as well. Human beings are naturally build to experience this. It is something that comes naturally for all of us and effortlessly we start connected with someone with whom we are around. Frederick Lenz said, "Most people, without consciously realizing it, absorb a great deal of psychic energy from the people they casually associate with, and even a greater amount from people with whom they have strong emotional connections."This casual and effortless bond is the purest of all. Building and nurturing this bond requires respect, mutual understanding, and love. The height of intimacy, friendship, and care are what connect partners in a strong bond. As David D. Burns wrote, "When two people respect each other, the ability to be vulnerable and to reveal hurt feelings can create a powerful emotional connection that is the source of real intimacy and friendship." Your emotional connection with your partner depicts the depth, passion, and beauty of your relationship. A couple who lacks this connection is truly lacking the backbone of a healthy relationship. Absence of interest for each other, no involvement in everyday life, or hesitating in understanding the personal situation of your partner are all the red flags. And it is extremely important to mend your ways before it is too late. An increase in emotional detachment and physical and emotional distance can ruin your relationship terribly. It is important to be there for each other on a deeper, emotional level for things to go right.
• Maintain Your Identity Along with Relationship with your Partner
Being true to yourself is the greatest and most precious gift of all. Maintaining your own identity is particularly important after you start a relationship. Just remember not to forget your loving relationships, your family, friends, and colleagues. Enjoy your new life while cherishing what you previously had. Roy T. Bennett wrote in The Light in the Heart, “You are unique. You have different talents and abilities. You don’t have to always follow in the footsteps of others. And most importantly, you should always remind yourself that you don't have to do what everyone else is doing and have a responsibility to develop the talents you have been given.” It is your first and foremost responsibility with yourself to sustain the beauty, and identity of yourself. And while wondering how to build a healthy relationship, keep in mind that only your true self can maintain a happy, healthy, and content relationship. Making compromises is inevitable in any relationship, however, it does not mean denying yourself completely and wholesomely. In denying yourself fully, you will lose the person you fall in love with and this is not a great start for any relationship. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” Being yourself is the best accomplishment of all time. The world always tries to change you and convert you into a version that is suitable for themselves. You must resist such efforts and must take some time to maintain your identity. It will give you the ultimate joy and content. Lao Tzu wrote in Tao Te Ching, “When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everyone will respect you.” You must remain determined to be who you are and strive for the betterment of life. And in doing so, you will get to know the real people who like you just the way you are. Rita Mae Brown wrote, “About all you can do in life is who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won't like you at all.” Only the ones who accept your personality with all the goodness and flaws are the real people you need in life. So, when you are compromising to maintain a healthy relationship, be sure that you are not ruining your personality in doing so.
• Do Not Shy Away from Respectful Arguments
Respectfully communicating your point of view and having an argument about it is the best thing that can happen to two people in love. Melchor Lim said, " Every relationship needs an argument now and then. Just to prove that it is strong enough to survive. Long-term relationships, the ones that matter, are all about weathering the peaks and the valleys." If they both truly care for the happiness and content for each other then they will let the other person speak and will communicate their concerns as well. One must never shy away or resist arguing with their partner. And if you do so, then it means that you know what the problem is. And in that case, it is your responsibility to try to mend the issue on your own. E. Lockhart wrote in "The Boy Book: A Study of Habits and Behaviors, Plus Techniques for Taming Them" “If you don't want to be in an argument with someone, it is probably best to try to solve the problem, rather than lying around hoping the other person will do it for you. And there my friends lies the answer to how to build a healthy relationship. Continuity of arguments reflects the continuity of communication in a relationship. A couple who have lost all the issues to argue about, certainly have nothing to talk about. Elizabeth Gilbert wrote in "Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage" You can measure the happiness of a marriage by the number of scars that each partner carries on their tongues, earned from years of biting back angry words.” It shows the importance of being respectful for your partner, else you will not only lose the argument but your relationship as well.
• Be Honest, Open, and Straightforward
Honesty is the key to happiness in any relationship. When you lie to your partner, you give them an opportunity of never believing in you and that can completely ruin your relationship. And it is a great ability to spot the honesty in your partner as well. Srinivas Shenoy said, “you are the greatest fool in the history of Love if you couldn't recognize an honest partner.”
There you go. We hope that you now know the answer to one of the most complicated questions, "how to build a healthy relationship?". Being in a relationship is one thing but sustaining that feeling of love and craze is whole another chapter. Understanding these tips and tricks will surely make things easier for you in life and will help you build a loving, caring, and passionate relationship with your partner. We wish you a life full of love and happiness with your loved ones.
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